Not Watching the Grandkids

Early in 2020 we heard about something called covid. It sounded ominous but we didn’t expect it to affect our lives. I’m a writer and one of the things I do is jot down little nothings, without any expectation that those words will ever be read. It’s like a piano player practicing their scales to get warmed up. A musician would never put out an album called “My Twelve Piano Scales.” All creative types need to get warmed up.

Covid spread rapidly, and didn’t go away, so these little writeups took on greater significance. I took the first few of these and began formalizing them into monthly impressions about our family life in the midst of this global pandemic. The first sorrow that this misfortune brought to me was not watching the grandkids.

Rumors Spread Quickly

In the beginning we heard things but saw nothing …

Rumors spread quickly in March. Life has taught me to keep a sharp eye on rumors. Bits and pieces had been trickling in since the previous month. Somewhere in East Asia there had been a virus outbreak. Well, these things have happened before. I don’t mean to belittle scary illnesses. When people lose loved ones, that’s sad, and our hearts go out to them. But are we going to get hit?

This “over there” problem had some sort of powerful feeling about it. Very little in the way of facts. The talking heads were agitated, but they get paid big bucks to act like that. Travel restrictions were put in place.

Despite the comforts of rationality – my spidey sense got all tingly.

At the Bus Stop

My name is PopPops. Some say I’m retired but I say that helping raise grandchildren is a job made especially for me. I’ve been doing this, off and on, for seven years. When our first grandchild was born, I watched her full time since she was eight weeks old. Our youngest son and his wife live nearby, and they work not far from here. Five-days-a-week infant care was the first thing I did after I retired.

Two years later her little brother came along. Family is important to me, so I took on the responsibility for a two-year-old and an infant, every workday. Sounds relaxing doesn’t it. I was also trying to finish my book.

Meanwhile, our oldest son and his wife also had two children during the same period of time. At one point in the birthday season, we had a 4-year-old, a 3-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a 1-year-old.

PopPops understands that socializing with their own age group is important. After four years of helping two youngsters get a good start in life, they tromped off to day care.

My most recent responsibility was to be at the bus stop to pick up the first grader. Later in the day, her parents would bring younger brother home from Pre-K. Three generations were enjoying family life (in between temper tantrums).

Covid Epicenter

Suddenly the world changed.

This covid thing was no longer an “over there” problem. It hit Washington State hard. That’s out there on the west coast and we live here on the east coast.

For one week the tension built daily …
Saturday – Our nephew emailed that he was cancelling his birthday party.
Sunday – Our middle son texted to say he had to cancel his trip to visit us.
Monday – The schools got shut but my wife still had to commute to work.
Tuesday – They told my wife to stay home and manage her work from there.
Wednesday – Was the last day I picked up our granddaughter from the bus stop.
Thursday – I went grocery shopping and decided I had to self-quarantine.
Friday – My wife and I had to cancel a much-needed vacation.

Then our region got hit …

New York City rapidly became the covid epicenter of America. People fleeing Europe had brought the virus with them. Our house is twelve miles away.

For us, life at the epicenter was our new normal. For me, not watching the grandkids left a hole in my heart.

I’m the reclusive writer type. As I’ve said many times over the years, “Books don’t write themselves, the author has to do that.” It’s a rough slog getting those words to cooperate.

So, unlike most people in this unexpected lockdown situation, it seemed like there were some things to take advantage of. More time to market my book. Enough time to prepare outlines for the sequels. That didn’t mean life was worry free. But you take what you get and deal with it as best you can.

The Pandemic Was a Viral Tsunami

Very quickly things turned bad. The pandemic was a viral tsunami. We quickly ramped up to a thousand covid deaths a day in our area. Hospitals were overwhelmed. What if I die? What if my wife dies? What if one of the grandkids goes first?

Planners had been expecting this for decades. Most of us are not planners. We didn’t know what to do. Experts had thick workbooks, with detailed charts and diagrams, prepared for just such an eventuality. Good planning bumped into bad politics.

Like most people, our family concentrated on two things. We hoarded supplies and spent vast amounts of time on the internet.

The hardest part for me to understand, in the beginning, was how efficient our skin is at keeping out germs. Mouth, nose, and eyes are the open doors where covid enters. If you wash your skin – especially your hands – those little germs go down the drain. The first piece of covid wisdom we learned was this – protect your face by washing your hands.

My wife, Stina, asked if I’d ever heard of something called an N95. I told her I had a big box of them in the basement. We took one for me, one for her, and donated the rest of the masks to the hospital.

That was bizarre. Here we are, living in America, where most of us have way too much of everything, and suddenly there’s not enough masks.

Our Home Became the Office Building

Ordinary life got disrupted. We couldn’t visit the grandkids. We couldn’t have guests over to our house. I worked at my computer in the basement. Stina worked at her computer on the second floor. Our home became the office building, and we were two stranded employees.

Keeping busy is never a problem for me. I’m always doing something. But what would make the most sense under these circumstances? Obviously, I would continue writing. At that time, we thought this would only last a few months. Countless distractions made me decide to not start on my next book under these circumstances. So, I decided to write blogs about family life under lockdown. This unwanted social experiment deserved to be set down in words.

What I am hoping to do is “capture the feeling” of each covid month. What is it like being stuck at home in order to stay safe? These aren’t stories, they’re impressions. Each month will unfold a different impressionistic word picture.

I decided to call this series “Pandemic Monthly.” Stina and I are regular people. Nobody is going to interview us on television. Our opinions will not make headlines. Thinking carefully about events is what every writer should aspire to do. With something this big, this unexpected, our modes of behavior are under constant pressure.

What will lockdown reveal about human nature?

We Need to Do Better

Covid will not be the last problem of this type that we will be forced to face. Nature is on the move. We have been careless. What lessons can we learn this time? What will help us protect our loved ones the next time?

In terms of readiness and right reaction – we’re not looking very good right now.

Looked at differently, the world has always been falling apart. Grandparents have always done their best to protect their own children, and especially their grandchildren. That’s built into our DNA.

If things continue getting worse – then we need to do better.

What I choose to write about each month will not be far sighted. In fact, it will be deliberately short sighted. What is happening right now? What worries me the most? What small things reflect the big picture?

One year, two years, that’s how long the 1918 Influenza was with us. How long will it take for us to moan and groan our way through this crisis. What hard lessons will we be forced to learn? How can those lessons be applied to our community preparedness?

One thing will never change. I love those grandkids.

© Neil Woodhall – all rights reserved
© Gomonish Entertainment
https://neilwoodhall.com
neilwoodhall60@gmail.com

Leave a Reply